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I wrote this [post] for you... - Sam [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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I wrote this [post] for you... [Jan. 31st, 2006|12:21 pm]
[mood |recumbentrecumbent]
[music |Matchbook Romance - Stay Tonight]

But then I switched targets. Beware, Saddam! Sodomize away!

(Reminder: any political aspersions are unfounded and likely apocryphal. Don't believe anything I say.)

(To my initial target: I hear Afghanistan's border with Pakistan makes a great getaway, but you're likely just as safe off-line.)

Okay, so admitting to sodomizing casual terrorists--to use the term loosely--is probably a bad move politically, but so is ending an e-mail with "good life" rather than "good night". Social suicide hurts a lot less than one might imagine. Well, not that I know how active your imaginations are; I sent mine to Mexico in a Magical Faerie Boat filled with dill pickles just to get hepatitis straight from the source. I admit, the nexus betwixt Taco Bell, its hepatitis, and Mexico is tenuous, but (phonetically) Saddamizing Iraq worked well. ...Right?

The Islamic Republic of Afghanistan is likewise enjoying the freedoms of a Western-styled democracy. Millions are still poorly nourished, about a quarter of all children die before they turn five, and half of all men and eighty percent of women are illiterate. Only six percent of the nearly thirty million people have access to electricity. But, to quote our unsightly Secretary of State, "Afghanistan is a wonderful success story...." Condoleezza's plastic surgeon has achieved analogous success. Even indulgently pouring plethoric pecuniary resources into a new face, the woman is still repulsive. Similarly, Afghanistan has received in excess of $11,900,000,000 in international aid--more than fifty percent of the country's gross domestic product (factoring in purchasing power parity, of course)--and the country is still one of the world's poorest. Afghanistan's former Planning Minister, Ramazan Bashardost, recently announced only nominal amelioration in the lives of his country's quotidian denizens. "The people are asking themselves 'if these billions of dollars have been donated, which of our pains have they remedied, what ointment has been put on our wounds'," he said. Well, our government certainly puts stock in the anodyne properties of money; just today, the beautiful Condoleezza Rice announced at a London summit that President Bush would seek approval for an extra $1.1 billion of aid for the Afghan people in the next year. (The United States has all ready committed itself to almost six billion dollars of annual aid.) Someone needs to inform our conservative administration that broken countries, like broken hearts, cannot be fixed with blank checks.

...Broken hearts, my seque to reality. Not that my dreams have been much better: dreams of you evanesce to crepuscular bathrooms with aborted babies in the drain. And is that soy sauce or blood? It won't come off. Cleansing hands is easier than expurgating memories. "Employees must wash hands before returning to work." This interregnum will cease anon and it will be back to work.

Can I leave you behind?

[User Picture]From: my_taco_rocks
2006-01-31 07:08 pm (UTC)
i have to say, this post was better than i expected. your last one was random, this one had more meaning. (by the last one being random, i really mean i didnt get it. this one i did)

good job buddy. and you ended it yourself just fine.
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[User Picture]From: ostracizedfool
2006-02-01 07:06 am (UTC)
It was the other post that actually meant something; this one just ridicules ugly, black women.
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[User Picture]From: kathy__
2006-01-31 09:22 pm (UTC)
hey sam, how are you?
it's an icy day today.
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[User Picture]From: ostracizedfool
2006-02-01 06:58 am (UTC)
Hi, Kathy. I'm tired!
I played The Sims 2 today.
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[User Picture]From: creativity__
2006-02-02 10:29 pm (UTC)
I like the Sims 2.
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[User Picture]From: ostracizedfool
2006-02-02 11:20 pm (UTC)
Me, too!
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[User Picture]From: ink_soaked_sea
2006-02-01 03:56 am (UTC)
No way, Julie. Crazy Sam is way better = )
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[User Picture]From: ostracizedfool
2006-02-01 07:00 am (UTC)
Girls don't understand Crazy Sam. :(
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[User Picture]From: ink_soaked_sea
2006-02-01 05:56 pm (UTC)
That's the whole point~! They'll think you're mysterious = ) And MOREOVER,
girls are dumb = P
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